Poor sleep is a very common problem these days. If you bring it up in conversation, it seems like most people are struggling. We mean to do something about it and then we tend to get busy and not take the time to really change our sleep habits. Since our sleep affects everything we do, consider taking some time to make some real changes.

1 – Know when to say “NO” to caffeine
Caffeine should be cut off a minimum of 6 hours before bed but many people notice that they need to cut it off earlier. If you have insomnia, frequent night wakings, headaches, anxiety, start noticing the connection between your last coffee and how you sleep.

Caffeine in soda has been linked in an increase of symptoms of Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA). Consider switching your afternoon beverage of choice if this applies to you.

Some people are even sensitive to the caffeine in chocolate.

2 – Move your workout to earlier in the day
Working out is wonderful for your health and your mood. If you want to improve your sleep, make sure it is not within 3 hours of bed. When you exercise, your body releases adrenaline which interferes with sleep. Stretching is fine and can help you relax.

3 – Make a list
Before bed, after work, or in the early evening, make a list of things that you want to remember for the next day. Don’t overdo it. Make it reasonable. Then, when you go to be, you can relax.

New habits can take time to make and keep. If changing too many things at once feels overwhelming, make a list and change one thing each week to improve your sleep. In a month you will sleep better and in 2 months, you may be surprised at just how improved your rest is.

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When your child is dealing with a severe or chronic illness, you focus on them first and foremost. This can work for a short period of time. If this goes on for a longer period of time, it’s important to focus on your emotions as well. Some people don’t feel this way but many find it helpful. Processing feelings can be good for you, your child, and the rest of your family.

There are many ways to do this:

Friends: While you can share generally with your friends, choose wisely the ones you confide deeply in. They should be good listeners who can really hear you and receive your feelings. Let them know that they don’t have to fix it if listening is what you need. If you need advice, ask for it. It’s okay to have different needs at different times.

Spouse: If you are married, keep the lines of communication open – not just about all the medical and practical stuff but about your feelings. It can be challenging because your spouse is as vulnerable as you are and you may be tempted to protect each other. If your relationship starts to suffer, seek a therapist who can help you navigate this together.

Support groups: These work really well for some people because the participants can understand what they are going through. Other people find it overwhelming to hear other people’s pain when they are trying to cope with their own.

Therapist: A good therapist can be a great asset and with virtual therapy becoming so popular, you can fit it much more easily into a busy schedule. Consider individual, marital, family therapy or a combination. Some therapists who specialize in helping families dealing with serious illness can see all of you in different combinations as needed.

Know that you are not alone at this time in your life – help is available it you reach out.

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Let’s face it, taking care of a sick child can be very draining emotionally and physically. Stress can lower you immunity, energy, mental clarity, and emotion well-being. One of the best things you can do for your child and other family members is to take care of your health.

But how does one do that when there are so many needs to be attended to? To think about exercise or rest, can seem ridiculous – one more “should” to add to the list! So let’s look at the time vs. the benefits of self-care.

Sleep – It affects everything. When sleep is lacking, cortisol levels go up which increases emotional and stress. Sleep deprivation affects mental clarity, frustration tolerance, and physical stress. If you are allowing enough time for sleep but can’t seem to get to sleep or stay asleep, consider, relaxation techniques or therapy.

Diet – If you have friends offering to cook for your family, let them! After all, they can’t fix your big problem but little comforts are good for you and they will feel good about helping. Or maybe just have a friend come over and prepare a big bowl of salad or chop up veggies and store them in containers to snack on.

Exercise – Even a little exercise can go a long way in helping you feel refreshed. But how do you fit it into your life? Think about 15 minute workouts or take your spouse, another child, or a friend for a couple laps around the block. Don’t be overly ambitious. Just exercise enough to get the benefits.

Stress can narrow our thinking so consider brainstorming ideas with a friend if can’t come up with self-care options. You are a key person in your child’s care. Taking care of yourself helps everyone.